I wanted to write this one down just to remember it. Iver had some real verbal gems tonight that had to be saved. My wife had a friend over tonight and I was attempting to put both boys to bed at the same time using a kind of ping-pong method from room to room checking on both as they constantly escape. After about 30 minutes of time where Iver got to play with Legos while I dealt with Miles, I went back to his room. I told him play time was done and it was time for bed. He got super upset and started screaming—I went into parent mode: “Here’s your choices,” I said, “Be nice, and we’ll read a book—or stay a grump and I’m out of here. No book.” His response?
“No! Here’s your choices! Get kicked in the butthole, or get kicked in the face.”
It was hard to supress my laughter, but I just said “Alright I’m done.” and walked out. He pleaded to get a book but I left. I came back about 30 minutes later and he was in bed, almost asleep. When I entered he hit me with this gem:
“Dad I made a mistake. Help me.”
“What’s wrong, spud?” I said.
“I crawled in bed with my Legos under the blanket.” He said, filled with remorse. I pulled back his blanket and he was laying pants-less with about 20 Duplo Legos looking about as uncomfortable as a 3-yr-old-could. I remedied the situation and he fell asleep.
He did his final swim lesson for this year today, so he was extra tired.
Oh to be a kid again.